
Yesterday we had to say goodbye to our faithful dog Saxon. Probably one of the hardest things I have had to do...and giving him one last hug knowing that once he walked out that door he would never be coming back literally broke my heart. It hurts so much. We told Austin the night before that Saxon had to go away and couldn't come back. That he was going to see his Mommy and Daddy and play with his friends. Right away Austin's eyes got wide, his face fell, he started to cry and ran to his room. John followed him and eventually he came back out, still crying into my waiting arms where I rocked him as he sobbed. Finally he says to me, "Mommy, I really hate this." My thoughts exactly. Then he stopped crying for a moment and with a concerned look on his face leans back and asks, "Is Bosco (our cat) staying with us?" Poor little guy. Originally we were going to tell him that Saxon got sick and wasn't going to get better, but then the following week Austin got sick and ended up in the hospital so we didn't want him to think that he wasn't going to get better either. It's tough.
The next morning Austin says to John, "Daddy are you taking Saxon home?". Broke my heart. Such a hard day. Every so often he would say to me, "I really miss Saxon."
The vet told John that Saxon had gotten a lot worse in the last couple of weeks and was carrying a lot of weight is his belly which was probably fluid. She figured Saxon would most likely keep his pain hidden from us no matter how bad it got. He was our protector. He was staying for us. It was time. John was with him when the time came. He said that Saxon had always been there for us so of course he'd be there for him.
It's so hard to believe that he is actually gone. The house is so quiet. Whenever a car door slams outside I swear I can hear him bark. I miss him so much!
This morning one of the first things Austin said to me was "Mommy, I really miss Saxon, maybe Grandma and Grandpa can go pick him up." I didn't have it in me to tell him that he was never coming home.
Always felt safe knowing he was here. He always had an eye on Austin and would be right by his side in a flash if he started crying. Couldn't ask for a better dog. He was so smart.
Our snoochie, our pooch, is gone. I'd do anything to bring him back.
I hope what my best friend Niki told me is true, that they're waiting for us when we go, all healthy and happy, wagging their tails, so excited to see us.
I hope.